Thursday, July 12, 2012

Baby #2

When my son was 9 months old I found out that I was pregnant again.  My husband and I were in complete shock.  We had no idea how we were going to make it especially since I was fired from my job.  I was fired for missing a lot of work.  Finding out that I was pregnant was the last thing we needed.  My husband and I had no idea how to announce the news.  We decided to just call our parents and let them know.  I first called my mom while she was at work and she was shocked and frankly everyone was shocked.  When my husband told his father it wasn't a pleasant conversation...from what I heard.  My husband and I did discuss our options, but at no point was termination or adoption an option for us.  We basically figured out how this was going to work.  Would his income be enough to support us, was our biggest concern.  We tried and tried to figure out how it was all going to work.  Around Christmas we had a dating ultrasound to see when this new baby would be born.  A lot of my extended family didn't know I was pregnant and they were mainly focused on my cousin and his wife since they were expecting.  As my extended family found out it seemed like no one was happy and no one wanted this baby to be born.  I was discouraged and my husband wasn't as supportive as I wanted/needed him to be.  I was the only one who was truely happy that this baby was coming. 

As my prgnancy progressed, it was boring...I had nothing major happen and as time passed we celebrated our son's first birthday.  I was happy and eventually our families came around to be excited since we were having a girl.  Both my husband and I began figuring out what we were going to do since most of the stuff we had was boy themes and colors.  We decided to get a double stroller, reuse the infant carrier/travel system, buy a bassinet for our bedroom, start stocking up on diapers for her and clothes since she was going to be a summer baby.  We used a chunk of our tax return to buy what we could.  My in-laws offered to throw me a baby shower (I guess they believe you have one with every baby), but I declined since that's not how we do it on my side and my parents threw me a huge shower before I had my son.  As we got closer to my due date I started to stress because we didn't have everything we needed.  At that point, my husband collaborated with his parents to throw me a Sprinkle Shower.  He got the idea from me planning one for a friend of mine who was going through a difficult time and was going to be a single mother of 2 children roughly the same ages as mine. 

At my Sprinkle shower, two of my other friends also expecting were there (one who was a day past her due date).  I was surprised andhappy to see my friends help celebrate this new baby.  It was a nice day, but crappy weather for an outside party.  I received some items that I needed and was super grateful for everyone coming.  But as I got closer to her delivery I got more nervous and worried because I didn't have what I needed to be ready for her arrival.  So one weekend I was at my moms and she took me, my son, and my sister to Babies R Us to get the items I needed to be ready for her arrival.  We bought clothes, diapers, wipes, blankets, organizers for the room, and a few other items I wanted to make the transition to having a girl better.  One of my friends was having a boy (she already had a girl) and she gave me lots of the clothing her daughter never wore or out grew.  That helped, but the seasons were off because her daughter was born in the winter, just like my son.  After shopping with my mom I felt much better about the upcoming arrival of this beautiful baby girl.

As we got to te final weeks of my pregnancy it was determined that if she didn't come on her own by the last weekof the pregnancy, I would have another c-section.  I wanted to go VBAC, but it was a little dangerous since my pregnancies were so close together.  I agreed to have the c-section, but was hoping she'd come sooner and if she did I could try to go natural.  Unfortunately, that was not the case...I tried using the eggplant parm receipe that induces labor naturally (nothing happened), ate fresh pineapple (it has an enzyeme that helps induce labor and that didn't work either), my siter took me on a long bumpy drive after my final OB appointment before the scheduled c-section (where my OB tried to sweep my membranes, I was 2 days shy of being 39 weeks, and that brought on some contractions but nothing that lasted). 

So two days before my c-section I was at home alone with my son and my husband was working.  After my son's nap I started have contractions, they got progressively worse and more painful than I'd ever felt before.  I waited until they were frequent and strong enought that I thought I should call the on call.  I called when they were 3-4 minutes apart lasting about a minute or longer, they said I had to come it.  I started to panic because my husband was an hour away at work and I had no car, so I called my mom in tears telling her that I thought it was time and I needed to go to the hospital.  She and my sister rushed to my apartment to get me and my son and bring me to the hospital.  I got there and my contrations slowed to 5 minutes apart and they hurt.  I was examined and it was determined that I wasn't progressing and to just go home and rest.  As I was being discharged my husband called and was worried that he was going to miss the birth.  I told him it was false labor and that I was going home to rest and that I would be back in 2 days for my c-section.  He was kinda angry that we didn't call him sooner, but I didn'twant him to leave work unless I was really going to have her that night.  My mom brought me and my son back home and we went to bed.  The night before my c-section my son went to my mother's house to spend the night and stay with her until I came home from the hospital.  My husband left work early that night so that he could get some rest since we had to be at the hospital for 6AM.

I awoke the morning of my c-section nervous and excited.  My bags were packed and we grabbed the car seat and headed to the hospital to meet my dad whos was going to be with us.  I went up to the floor and was escorted to my room, funny thing about my was the same room I was in when I had my son.  I got admitted, hooked up to the monitors and just rested until it was time.  I talked with the OB about a few concerns I had and asked about my husband getting to cut the cord since he didn't when out son was born.  I asked if my dad could be in the OR too since my mom got to go with us last time.  They said sure got both my dad and husband scrubs and caps and those shoe covers so they could accompany me in the OR.  They waited in a special waiting area while I got on the table and had my spinal block put in.  After that they were allowed in the room.  They stayed by my head until she was out.  As the took her out it was determined that my husband couldn't cut the cord, however they left a tail on so he could trim it at the warmer.  She was breach, come to find out, and cried as they held her over the drape so I could see her.

I cried as soon a I saw her and just waited to see her cleaned up and by my side.  My husband and my dad both got to hold her brefore me.  She was perfect and I immediately knew I was going to do it right this time and breastfeed her from birth until she chooses to stop.  As soon as I was closed up and back in my bed, she was brought over and laid in my arms as we made the journey down the hall to my room.  As soon as we were back in my room my dad and my husband changed out of their scrubs, then my dad called my mom to inform her of my daughter's arrival.  Due to her being large for her gestational age, the monitored her blood sugar for 3 hours.  During that time and getting me hooked up to the monitors I asked when I could start breastfeeding.  As soon as I was settled in bed they brough her to me to nurse her for the first time.  It was weird and amazing and different all at the same time. 

Once it was determined that her blood sugars were fine she had her first bath.  Then my mom and my son arrived to see her.  My son I think was confused as to what happened, but it seemed as though he loved her.  Since he was only 18 months old visits were kept short so that we could see him multiple times a day.  By the second day of our stay, I was up and moving.  So when our son came to visit my husband hid our daughter and asked our son where she was.  Not sure how he'd react we waited and he pointed to my belly.  We then showed him his sister and told him that she was there and not in my belly anymore.  He visited multiple times during my stay.  When the time came fo us to go home we were informed that she would not be discharged becasue she lost too much weight and needed to gain weight before she could go home.  Luckily they were able to stop my discharge so I could stay with her and get medication and food until they discharged her.  At that point all the fears/emotions I felt when my son wasn't gaining weight came back.  I was scared and very upset.  I called my mom and was able to tell my dad, but when he put my mom on the phone I just cried and my husband had to talk to her.  For a couple of hours my husband left and went home to shower and pick up some things for me, while he was gone I laid in bed cried, and held my daughter.  Later on that day I had a visit with a lactation consultant and discussed what to do.  So I pumped after every time she nursed and finger fed the pumped milk (just an ounce, any additional milk was sent to the nursery fridge for me to take home) to her using a dropper.  It worked, not only was my milk in around day 3 but I was on the road to having an abundant supply.  She gained an ounce, so after 5 days in the hospital we finally went home. 

My husband was able to be home for a couple days after returning from the hospital, the day he returned to work he took our son to mom's where he stayed until it was his bedtime.  He was then brought home by my parents and put to bed for me.  They stayed after he went to bed to visit with me and my daughter.  My mom helped me with her first bath at home in our kitchen sink, since my husband was at work, my dad just sat in a chair in my living room and watched tv.  We sent my son to my mom and dad's house while my husband was at work for 2 weeks, while I was still on a lifting restriction.  After the two weeks was up, he was with me when my husband went to work.

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